Have you seen those commercials for 5-Hour Energy?
You know, the 2 fluid ounce container filled with a potent blend of B vitamins intended to serve as an afternoon pick-me-up?
I regularly watch my favorite shows on Hulu, and let me tell you, I am sick and tired of hearing about this 5-Hour Energy stuff.
“Hours of energy now! No 2:30 feeling later!”
It’s sad that I can quote it by now.
Sure, I can sing along with Subway’s five-dollar footlong diddy as well. But at least that marketing ploy has a catchy little tune.
And sure, I’ve seen one too many infomercials about Snuggie, “the blanket that has sleeves!” But at least it’s amusing to watch people lounge around in what’s essentially a Dumbledore-esque cotton bag. (Did you know they make Snuggies for dogs now? I’d be lying if I denied standing in a Kohl’s aisle, toying with the idea of purchasing one. Luckily, I used my better judgement.)
Unfortunately, 5-hour Energy can boast neither a sing-along nor a Harry Potter vestige. It’s just a conspiracy intended to wean me and many others from their tried-and-true caffeine sources. But I refuse to succumb to this ploy!
Take this, 5-Hour Energy! They haven’t yet seen the likes of this…
- 3/4 cup (60 g) quick oats
- 2 Tablespoons Stevia (or sugar or other sugar substitute)
- 1 Tablespoon unsweetened cocoa powder
- 2 teaspoons instant coffee
- 1/4 cup chocolate milk or soymilk
- 1/2 cup water
- Combine the quick oats, Stevia, cocoa powder, and instant coffee. Mix in the chocolate milk and water. In a microwave-safe dish, microwave on high for a minute to a minute and a half.* Remove from microwave and add desired toppings. Eat and enjoy!
*Note: This will produce a dryer, thicker oatmeal. If you prefer a higher liquid ratio, add more chocolate milk or water prior to microwaving.
**Variation: For a richer mocha flavor, try overnight oats. Combine all ingredients as directed but don’t microwave. Place mixture in refrigerator, covered, overnight. Enjoy your bowl of cold oats in the morning, no further preparation necessary. I personally prefer this method because the coffee and chocolate combination is more intense.