Personalities and Chocolate Pop-Tart Pie

Have you ever noticed that at Thanksgiving, pie is, without doubt, the most populous of all food species?  Between Great Aunt Minnie’s apple pie, Grandma’s pumpkin pie, Mom’s pumpkin pie, and Sister-in-Law Susie’s no-bake pie, there are already more slices of pie than guests at the dinner table.

There’s just something about pie.  Everyone wants to bring it, everyone wants to eat it.  Relatives size up each pie before even glancing at the turkey.  And then, of course, Darwin’s principle of natural selection takes place as people swarm certain pies and leave others to be humiliated.  We’ve all seen that one humiliated pie; there’s one at every Thanksgiving gathering.  Placed adjacent to several other pies, all of which have been torn apart by ravenous guests, the humiliated pie is clearly recognized by its intactness.  Perhaps six, seven, or even eight slices remain of its original eight slices.  I’ve noticed that pecan pie is typically the center of such humiliation.

Because the pecan pie suffers from relative unpopularity, it also carries with it an inferiority complex.  Like people, each pie has a personality.  

Pumpkin pie, glistening with its dollop of Cool Whip, is quite confident and outspoken.  It’s the “cool kid” of the pies, so to speak.

And then there’s the double-crusted apple pie, which is traditional and orthodox by nature.  Despite bearing copious amounts of cinnamon spice, apple pie is the cool, calm, and collected one. 

Chocolate peanut butter pie is that tall, dark and handsome type.  There’s a reason why women love chocolate!

In stark contrast to its chocolate peanut butter counterpart is the peppy and voluminous lemon meringue pie.  While some appreciate its glee, others are turned off by its subtle acidic notes.

Then we have – oh là là – the French silk pie.  Its chocolate curls scream l’élégance et la sophistication.

Last but not least is the Oreo cream pie.  Dispersed Oreo cookie crumbs make it adored by many.  However, in some pie purist circles it’s perceived as being “fake.”  Oreo cream pie is careful to remain aware of its audience.

Now, though, there exists a pie that avoids the fake pitfalls of Oreo cream pie but capitalizes on the popularity of pumpkin pie.  A pie with a mystique like that of chocolate peanut butter and a certain elegance like that of French silk.  A pie that puts a twist on tradition, has confidence and pep, and poses novelty to consumers.

What is this pie? you ask.

Wiping flaky crumbs of chocolate pastry from the sides of my mouth, I respond…Chocolate Pop-Tart Pie.

You can count on this to be the favorite at Thanksgiving!

Chocolate Pop-Tart Pie

Chocolate Pie Crust:
(Makes enough for two 9″ pie crusts, or one 9″ double crust)

• 2-1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
• 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1/4 cup granulated sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon salt (omit if using salted butter)
• 12 Tablespoons cold butter (regular or light), cut into small pieces
• 4 Tablespoons ice water

Chocolate Fudge Filling:

• 4 ounces (about 1/2 cup) semi-sweet chocolate chips
• 2 Tablespoons butter
• 2 Tablespoons skim milk
• 2 Tablespoons sugar or sugar substitute
• 1 egg, lightly beaten

Glaze:

• 1/2 cup confectioners’ sugar
• 2-3 teaspoons skim milk
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• sprinkles, for decoration (optional)

1. To make chocolate pie crust, stir together flour, cocoa powder, granulated sugar, and salt (if using) in a large mixing bowl. 
2. Cut in butter with kitchen utensil or pastry blender (or simply work in with your fingers) until pea-sized lumps form.  One Tablespoon at a time, sprinkle in ice water, stirring gently with a fork after each addition.  Add only enough water to form a rough mass.
3. With lightly-floured hands, pat dough into a smooth, flattened disc.  Wrap dough in cling wrap and refrigerate for 30 minutes before rolling out.
4. After dough has chilled 20 minutes, begin preparing chocolate fudge filling by melting chocolate and butter.  Mix in milk and sugar.  Once chocolate mixture is cool, add egg.  Set aside.
5. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F and lightly grease a 9-inch pie pan with cooking spray.  Evenly divide dough disk into two pieces and place one piece back into the refrigerator.  On a lightly-floured surface, roll other dough piece out thinly and fit into pie pan.  Pour in filling.  Retrieve second pie dough piece from refrigerator and roll out to fit pie pan.
6. Lay out second pie layer over filling and trim off excess pie dough.  Push out any air bubbles.  Seal pie crusts together by running wet finger over bottom crust and pressing down top crust.  Flute edges with fingers and, with a fork, poke numerous holes across top pie crust layer.*
7. Place cover or aluminum foil over crust edges.  Place pie in oven and bake for 30 minutes.
8. After baking, wait until pie is fully cooled before glazing.  In a small bowl, stir together confectioners’ sugar and vanilla, adding milk as necessary to thin.  Pour glaze onto pie and spread out evenly using the back of a spoon.  Add sprinkles if desired.  Refrigerate pie to hasten hardening process of glaze.

*Note: If the holes aren’t large enough, an air pocket may form between filling and top crust layer.  Keep an eye on pie throughout baking process.  If air pocket begins to form, quickly remove pie from oven, gently push on top crust layer to press out steam, and place back into oven for remaining cooking time.

Tagged as: chocolate, chocolate chip, confectioners' sugar, Desserts, eggs, frosting, Holiday Food, pastry, pie, Thanksgiving, vanilla